AUTHOR INTERVIEW
UPDATE 3/3/2023 - this post won a Most Popular Authors Award
This month we’re meeting the very humorous Martin
Featherston, and I have to say, he had me laughing from the start. I asked
Martin to introduce himself.
‘Before belly-flopping into the deep end of the writing pool, I spent
several excruciating decades in the business world. However, during that time,
I did find great personal joy as a part-time lecturer at Montreal’s McGill
University.
Now, free from politically correct corporate-speak and the obligation to
wear pants, I write short stories and fictional novels from my home in Canada.’
I don’t know about you, but I’m
getting a very vivid picture of how Martin writes 😂
What did he teach, and why was it joyful?
‘I lectured to senior commerce and MBA students in International Business,
focusing on Asian/North American corporate practices and culture.
All of my corporate experience has been with Japanese-owned companies. And I
have spent a lot of time in Japan and China, and once, I flew over the Philippines
– which, as far as I could tell, looked nice. I have much love for those Asian
countries I visited and a deep understanding of their cultures.
The teaching process was delightful. The students were great, and we often
stayed after class to discuss, debate, and tackle every global concern that
haunts the planet. I’m happy to say we solved them all. Although… I’ve yet to
see any of our solutions implemented. Which… now that I mention it, seems odd.’ Hmm, that does seem strange 🤣
He continues, ‘As a side note, about 50% of each class was of Asian descent. I’ll
never forget watching these eager students scribble down notes while I droned
on about their own culture. Surreal, to say the least.’
I can imagine! He was born in Rugby, England, but
was ‘snatched from the crib and quickly
immersed in all facets of British humour.’
He then spent his childhood looking for the meaning of life through a lens
dominated by Goodies, Pythons and Galactic Hitchhikers. He readily admits that
it should be no surprise that, as a grown man, his global perspective remains a
tad bent! He continues,
‘Unable to skate, I was considered an outcast in Canada and summarily
banished to the small village of Elora, Ontario, where I’m outnumbered by cows.
As such, I have embraced a dietary policy of ‘no red meat’ to pacify the more
militant bovines in the neighbourhood.
My hobbies include Amateur Radiology, Ardvarkian Philosophy and
collecting pottery-based weapons.’
When I stop laughing, I ask how easy it is to
do amateur radiology, as I’d like to give it a go! He replies,
‘It’s a straightforward process once you
finally get the machines up the stairs and installed in your spare bedroom -
and secure a second job to cover the electric bills.’
A surprisingly creative process, radiology allows you to explore two
extremes with the same machine. On one end, you can take very pretty pictures
of the inner workings of clocks, cell phones, pacemakers, fish, the cat, Jehova’s
Witnesses, and your own personal nether regions. And at the other extreme, you
can heat up soup.’
😂 Have
you any idea how difficult it is to think of sensible questions when you’re processing these images! Comedy genius 😇
‘Nothing Sacred’ was published in
2022 and is Martin’s first book, although he has another two underway. It’s
published in the Fictional Humour genre (no surprise there!) and is book one in
the ‘Anywhen’ trilogy. As I’m not reviewing the book, I asked Martin for a
synopsis:
‘Meet Earl Grey, a
down-to-earth but down-on-his-luck small-time newspaper reporter. Earl’s a bit
of an unreliable mess, albeit loveable, if absolutely necessary.
Much to Earl’s lack of surprise, he is suddenly assigned a story far worse than
his typical day-to-day drudgery. Two days after the earth-shattering arrival of
an alleged God in Phoenix, Arizona, in 2005, Earl is appointed as Media Liaison
to this extremely ungodlike man. One who has been apparently working miracles
after being discovered dressed in Armani in the Arizona desert.
With ‘God’ now restricted to a hospital room, Earl suddenly finds himself with
exclusive access to the Almighty. And with great access comes great demand, as
our less-than-intrepid reporter quickly discovers. Meeting a feast of both
loveable and despicable characters - each one not entirely what they seem. But
one thing’s certain, they all want something from this newly arrived God and
plan to go through Earl to get it. However, Earl, a lifelong atheist and
skeptic, has very different plans and sets about to uncover the true identity
of this unusual man before His time on earth runs out.
Thrust into global celebrity and a massive mid-life course correction, it isn’t
long before Earl is overwhelmed, paranoid, and plagued with crippling
self-doubt. But, as usual, he’ll have to sort out the whole mess for himself.
Hopefully, before the world comes to an end.’
Intrigued, I asked Martin for a
tweetable extract of one of his favourite parts of the novel that you can tweet
(tweet here)
‘Morning
arrived, as it often does, all bright and frisky and annoyingly full of hope.
Another day dawned on the wickedly slow pace of planetary evolution. The earth
rotates one more time. The moon disappears, and the sun resumes sunning - cyclical
blessings from the patron saint of second chances.’
I wondered what inspired him to write this story,
as it seems quite removed from his corporate working life. Has he been a
journalist, or did he have to research?
‘This could be an agonizingly long answer.
So I’ll just say… 42.
Not kidding, really. 42, Douglas Adams’ answer to the meaning of life,
the universe and everything from his Hitchhikers series. Mr. Adams changed my
life. Perhaps saved it.
As a youngster, I did not think like the others. I was not good at
conforming. I drove my poor mother nuts with my anti-religious interrogations.
And I adored science and philosophy. I seriously thought something was wrong
with me (there probably is, but that’s another story).
When I began to read Douglas’ works and
watch Python and other British comedies of the time, I was changed. Perhaps I
didn’t see it then, but my conversion was swift and absolute. I suddenly felt
full of stuff I needed to say. The more I read or watched, the more I knew I
needed to participate.
My research? Over the years, I’ve read all
the holy books cover to cover many times. I studied the comedy greats. I
watched how they built a premise and then delivered the unexpected ending. The
great John Cleese once said “great humour is not watching a person do something
silly; it’s watching a bystander watching a person doing something silly.” I
knew right away that if gut-splitting humour could come from graduates in
history, philosophy and even divinity – my path was clear.’
It’s one thing to read works, but
what inspired him to start writing?
‘An avid reader since boyhood. An
academic father. Only child syndrome with a vivid imagination.’
If you’ve been writing for so long,
what made you publish now?
‘One of my darkest character traits is
pragmatism. As such, I moved towards a business career since it promised little
chance of starving to death or being discovered in an opium den in Hanoi,
overdosed on research.
But, in business, I always felt like a sell-out. I was good at it and rose to a
high level, but it was unsatisfying and depressing. I swore that once I had
enough money to live on, I would retire early and throw myself into completing
the hundreds of storylines that permeated my stack of notepads. I started with
short stories, of which I have hundreds. My intent was (and still is) to
publish several books of short stories. But the Nothing Sacred concept would
not yield to short storytelling. It persisted until I had written enough to
produce two books. Thus, NS will ultimately be a trilogy with a fantastic
climax, as we all like those.
As fate would have it, I happened upon a brilliant editor who lives in
England and shares my odd sense of humour. We were and are perfectly pared. To
ensure continuity, he will work on the following two books in the trilogy.
So that’s how this all came about. But, I am the type who would find something
wrong with a winning lotto ticket. Thus, the N.S. books are not enough for me.
I will try very hard to get this story onto the screen. I think the story and
humour are ideal for a series (think Good Omens) or perhaps a movie (if I can
get Selena Gomez to return my calls).’
And being a fan of series like Good Omens, I’m
already planning how I can volunteer to be his P.A. when the call comes! He
mentioned research, so does he complete a lot?
‘Research filled three notebooks years before I sat down to write this
story. While travelling the world, I took copious notes about the fun and
unusual characters I met along the way, plus intriguing facts about their
countries and cultures. In addition, I researched the locations of every scene
in the Nothing Sacred, right down to street names and native foliage.’
Whaaat? Three notebooks? How much was
used, and what will he do with the rest?
‘There was a lot left over. Somebody should have told me to stop.
A great deal of situational humour was transferable to book two. Half of book
two was written before I even sat down to contemplate. Right now, I’d say
roughly 75% of book two is complete (pre-editorial dismemberment).’
So, having made the decision to
write, what does he enjoy the most about the process?
‘The escape. Creation. Sending messages
or thoughts I could not convey in any other medium.’
And what about the least?
‘Writing is easy. I have over 100 short stories (many planned for a compilation
book), and my follow-up novel is almost ready for editing. Getting published is
a nightmare. Torture. An exercise in both humility and self-abuse.’
Oh dear, I fear I’ve struck a nerve!
What’s been so hard? Would it be easier with a traditional publisher?
‘Don’t get me started!!!!’ Oops!
‘Ok,
I’m resettled. A glass of bourbon and ice beside me in case there’s a flare-up.’
It sounds like I’m going to need some
too! He continues,‘The book industry is a nightmare. On the one hand, you have FIVE mega publishers that control everything. And
they have no interest in new authors (unless you’re Selena Gomez).
Then there’s the self-publish industry (a
friend once called it the Sh*t Volcano). Thousands of books are published every
day. Most are without editing, advice, decent covers or an actual story (think
50 shades).
I went in-between – a hybrid publisher.
The main reason? I’m a writer, not an editor, typesetter, cover designer, or
Kardashian. And I know enough to realize when I need specialized help.
I am happy with the final outcome. The
hardback version is gorgeous. Beautifully typeset on brilliant paper. No
regrets. But I learned a lot.
If a Trad Publisher came to me now for
books two and three, I would probably pay attention. Despite the potential loss
of my ownership rights, which goes with this option, the fact remains that all
I want to do is write. And the post-publishing world for authors is now a
full-time job of social media, advertising, shows, readings, events, and
higher-quality opium dens in Hanoi.’
I love how Martin reverts back to humour, but he
does make interesting points. So, on a lighter note, what does his daily writing
routine look like?
‘During writing season (Canadian winters), I begin my regiment every day
after lunch. If the creativity isn’t there, I spend the day researching and
building the story’s structure. If creativity abounds, I’ll write until the wee
hours of the morning.’
And does he read reviews of his books?
‘Of course. So far, almost entirely 5-star positive - good for the ego.
Some even offer critiques that are constructive and instructive. Nothing wrong
with that. Writing is a lifelong learning process.’
Are there any scenes he found difficult to
write?
‘Any sex scene (so I avoided all). I am by no means a prude, but every
time I tried to write a scene for my protagonist, it felt forced and out of
place.’
I can’t blame him for that - nobody
wants to win the annual ‘Bad Sex in Fiction Award!’ Some of his characters appear
very different from him, so what’s the most difficult thing in writing them?
‘Empathy. I find writing about characters
younger than myself easier since I can apply genuine empathy toward their
condition. Writing about older characters, or those from different counties or
cultures, requires far more research and a few good contacts to verify the
authenticity.’
So, he’s done it now; his book’s in print - was it
as he’d imagined all those years ago?
‘It was a wonderful moment. I held the book in my hand for quite some
time. It felt right. But with it came anxiety.
You see, N.S. ends in a bit of a cliffhanger. And since the feedback so
far has been uniformly positive, there is now a need to complete the trilogy in
a reasonable amount of time. Deadlines!!! Suddenly, this has become work.
Albeit, the best job in the world.’
That sounds like a great problem to
me! I ended the interview by asking if there was anything else he’d like to
share with us?
‘I write humour, but I live in a constant
state of bemusement with the world. If I didn’t laugh, I doubt I’d still be
here. Of the many philosophies I live by, I can probably sum them all up with, “Life;
it’s a bit silly when you really think about it.”’
Well said! After our chat, I know I’m
going to read his book! If you’d like to find out more, please visit Martin’s
author links below:
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